


Keep Coming Back

by mssrj_335



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 5+1 Things, Awkward Flirting, Canon Related, Canon-Typical Violence, Competent Finn (Star Wars), Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Finn Needs A Hug (Star Wars), Finn and Poe Supporting Each Other, Finn and the Ring, First Kiss, Force-Sensitive Finn (Star Wars), Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Mild Angst, Mutual Pining, POV Finn (Star Wars), POV Poe Dameron, Pilot Poe Dameron, Pining Finn (Star Wars), Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Promises, Protective Poe Dameron, Romantic Fluff, Schmoop, Self-Esteem Issues, Sharing a Bed, Supportive Finn (Star Wars), Sweet Finn (Star Wars), Tenderness, Unresolved Romantic Tension, Who's still learning to break out of the first order, You ever just want ten slices of carrot cake? bc this is that fic lol, affirmations, is the author being a touch melodramatic? yah, let's lift each other up, we're gonna pretend they weren't as snappy in TROS ok, why yes i am trying that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 11:54:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,804
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28794978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mssrj_335/pseuds/mssrj_335
Summary: Each time Poe loses his ring, Finn is the one who finds it. Each time it brings them a little closer together
Relationships: Finn/Poe Dameron, Finnpoe, Poe Dameron/Finn, Stormpilot - Relationship
Comments: 116
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gmariam19 (gmariam)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gmariam/gifts).



> so this is a version of finn i haven't really tried too much, i hope i do him justice still
> 
> updated daily (or every other day) until complete
> 
> self-edited, sorry about mistakes!

Something prickles at his awareness, then a shine catches his attention. Hiding under the heel of someone's boot but glinting in the light just enough to draw his eye. Like it's just for him. He glances around. It doesn't seem like anyone else has noticed it yet. Well, maybe he's supposed to find it. Finn frowns and sets his tray down on the table next to Rose.

"Where are you going?"

He waves back at her. "Hold on just a second."

There's not exactly a lot of time to eat these days on Ajan Kloss—he really should sit down to eat—but whatever it is looks like it might be important. He weaves past a few people with trays of their own, mumbling excuses, narrowing his eyes. _What is that?_ Several of Poe's pilots raise their eyebrows at him as he kneels behind their table. One of them he knows tangentially, Karé, sputters as he nudges her foot aside.

"Finn! What the hell're you doing down there?"

"Your foot's on something."

She scoffs, but when he comes back up, every jaw at the table goes slack. It's a ring. Not even a particularly shiny one. It's rather plain, really. Silvery, sure, but battered and worn. Finn wouldn't necessarily know a fine metal from a poor one but the way it feels in his hands reminds him of starships. Solid durasteel, nothing fancy.

"Oh shit," Karé mutters. "Dameron's gonna go ballistic."

Finn blanches and almost drops the thing. This belongs to Poe? Oh no—

"Karé! Snap! Help!"

Poe Dameron's voice floats through the mess hall, edging closer to panic than Finn's ever heard it. Even during the Battle of Crait, he didn't sound so worried. Not that Finn's had a lot of time to hear what his voice sounds like. Or get to know him since their flight to Ajan Kloss but he _wanted_ to. Not in a professional capacity either. Like...personally. One on one. Not just in his dreams. Definitely. But suddenly coming up with Poe's missing ring might look bad. Stars, he just hopes Poe doesn't get the wrong idea.

"Over here!" Snap waves.

Poe jogs toward them, looking under tables and all around with a frantic eye. "Guys, I lost—"

"The ring," Karé cuts in, "we know."

Poe still isn't focusing, totally bypasses her words to upend himself on a chair and glance under their table. "The damn chain broke. I don't know how I didn't notice." He spins on a heel. "I already tossed my bunk, nothin'."

"Poe."

"I got all the way in the cockpit and it wasn't their either. So I figured—" He starts walking to another table, half bent. “—ah hell, I left the recruits on the tarmac—I just had to—"

"Poe!" Karé snaps. "Finn found it."

Poe shoots up just as Wexley pushes Finn forward and they almost run right into each other. Poe's eyes go wide, his hands find a home on Finn's elbows who clutches the ring in front of him, missing the smirks thrown at Poe over his shoulder. The pilot stares at him, gobsmacked for a second or two before his gaze drops to the ring.

"How'd you even find it?" he asks softly. "I thought it was gone for good."

It takes Finn a moment to get his mouth to work. It's just, he's never seen that soft expression on Poe's face before and it makes his breath catch a bit. "I saw it, in the light."

"Saw it from across the mess," Pava pipes up. "Quite a set of eyes."

"Yeah, well—" Finn glances back to catch her looking shrewdly between the two of them. Suddenly, the ring burns in his hands and he all but shoves it at Poe. "I figured someone would be missing it."

"You were right. This thing's real important to me." Poe thumbs the metal reverently. "I'm just glad to have it back. How can I even thank you?"

Finn wets his bottom lip. Oh stars, it's the perfect opportunity. Could he ask? He takes a breath, then the plunge. "How 'bout you tell me about it sometime? If it's that important, I'd love to know the story. Maybe over breakfast, if you have time."

It's not a date. Nope. Definitely not. Just a friendly meal suggestion between friends. Acquaintances? Nah, friends, surely. There's some shuffling behind him interrupting his mildly panicked thoughts. Poe glares over his shoulder and immediately Finn thinks maybe that was a step too far. He takes a physical step back, hands up and ready for retreat.

"You know what, that’s—"

"I'd love to, buddy." Suddenly, Poe's smiles is back. He claps Finn on the shoulder, looking between him and the ring. "We'll make a meal of it, yeah?"

Finn would never admit the relief—and sharp anticipation—he feels at that. There's still some adjustment to life outside the Order but friendship, it seems, works the same everywhere. Then Poe's jogging on, waving over his shoulder and back to work. Finn doesn't say much to Poe's pilots, just gives them a wave of his own and heads back to Rose. He doesn't really know them but something about the way they look at him feels...calculating. And he's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

"Looks like you made some new friends," Rose teases when he returns to their table.

"Hardly," he scoffs. "Just returning something lost."

"How'd you even see that? It was so tiny!"

He shrugs. "Lucky, I guess."

Rose's eyes narrow, much like Pava's had. "Lucky is right. I don't think I've seen Dameron look at anyone like that. He looked like you saved his favorite Loth-cat out of a tree."

"Yeah right. He would've looked like that at anyone who gave him the ring back. It just happened to be me." Finn snorts to cover the jump in his guts. "What's the story behind that thing, anyway?"

Rose shrugs. "I don't think anyone really knows. Maybe his pilot buddies but he plays it pretty close to the vest. You should ask him."

Finn very pointedly leaves out the fact that he did. Instead, he hopes Poe will make good on his promise and tucks into his food, decidedly closing the conversation. It's not that he doesn't want Poe to look at him like that—he does. And it's not that he doesn't want to hear the story from Poe himself—he _definitely_ does. He's too curious though.

While he gets more of Poe’s company over the next few weeks, it’s never enough. Not to get the story, and not to scratch the itch to know more. Poe’s there, yes. But always just out of reach. Which leaves Finn wondering how he could get more. Surely there's a way.

The ring doesn't even come up again until several weeks later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so this might not go the way you expect? hope it still works tho

"Finn, you got a minute?"

Finn jerks out of the armory closet; almost eats it when his boot slips on a blaster. Two firm hands steady him and a voice he hasn't heard in over a week laughs.

"Whoa, take it easy! Didn't mean to startle you."

"Sorry." Finn wheels, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly and he finds who else but Poe Dameron in the tight space with him. "I was thinking." He pauses, then before he can get a handle on his mouth, he says, "I didn't think you'd be back for a few more days. It's good to see you."

_Shit_. That must give something away because Poe's easy grin gets a little softer around the edges.

"It's good to see you too," Poe murmurs, warm and welcoming all at once. He looks on the verge of saying something else but clears his throat instead and asks, "What're you doin'?"

"I'm supposed to be gathering a weapons set for my cadets." It feels silly to admit but he also feels if anyone would understand his woes, it would be Black Leader. And just his luck, Poe's smiling encouragingly. "They're crash-coursing through ranged and melee weapons this week and it's my first time. Teaching them myself, I mean."

"I'd heard you'd been promoted; you really gave 'em hell on that last mission. Congrats, Captain.” Poe squeezes his arm and Finn's skin tingles against his will at the praise. "You ever need any pointers on how to handle unruly cadets, just ask," he teases.

"Oh, don't worry about that," Finn chuckles. "If I channel Phasma, it keeps them in line. And thanks." Finn ducks his head a bit, still not quite used to easy compliments but pleased anyway. "So uh, what'd you need?"

"Well, I need you to look at this First Order data. It's a map, I picked it up on this last mission and haven't been able to make heads or tails of what it's for." Poe's hand sneaks up his arm to his shoulder. "Think I can steal you for a little while?”

Finn hesitates. No, not really, his head says. He needs to get everything together, wants to make a good impression for his first lesson. Poe ducks his head to meet his eyes.

And his heart says, "You can steal me any time." Internally, he groans. _Stars above, where the hell is the filter?_ "Let me comm my C.O. and let her know." He tries for a joke. "Surely she'll make an exception for Commander Dameron, right?"

Poe gives him one more squeeze as his teasing smile widens. "Has a nice ring when you say it like that. Good thing you don't call me Commander very much, I wouldn't know what to do with myself."

He pats Finn's shoulder once and winks, completely missing the way Finn's eyes widen and how he fights to hide a smile of his own. Poe chatters on the way out of the armory. Though, just before they leave, Finn hears something a bit strange. A soft _snik_ and a delicate _ping_ of metal striking plascrete. Finn glances back over his shoulder but Poe doesn't notice the sound and nothing seems out of place, so he puts it out of his mind for now.

—

"Shit shit shit shit _shit."_

Finn crashes into the armory, hours later. Everything ran long. Training's in ten minutes. His C.O. was _not_ understanding—five minutes to get there, five to get set up. First Order intel be damned. Finn scrambles through a pile of weapons, stuffing random pieces into a duffel bag. Doesn't matter what they are at this point, he's positive he'll know how to use each one. Not to rain on the Resistance parade, but it's amazing that they've come as far as they have—their training isn't _nearly_ up to snuff. Finn's got plans, and if he wants those plans to work, he has to prove his point. He zips up the duffel, throws it over his shoulder. Ok, that should do it. Why does it feel like he’s forgetting something? Mentally running through a list of exercises, he dashes for the door but—

Something shiny catches his eye.

"Oh no."

Poe's ring peeks at him from a corner of the room. When would he have even lost it? Moreover, _how had he not noticed??_ Through the entire meeting, Poe hadn't so much as twitched, and that was hours ago. Maybe just too focused? He’d certainly seemed engrossed, hanging off Finn’s every word. Even though those words weren’t exactly helpful—he'd turned up a map of a fuel depot, but Finn didn't know where. He groans, snagging the ring from its hiding place and stuffing it into his pocket. He'll get it to Poe later.

And later, he finds, means _later_ later. Poe’s barely grounded for a day, just long enough to crash and sleep. Finn figures he can wait until morning—and maybe get that breakfast—but Poe’s off on another short jaunt. Gone five days this time. The first day, Poe’s ring burns a hole in his pocket. Finn can’t bring himself to leave it in his quarters. What if it gets lost in there? The fact that his room is the tidiest on base is beside the point. He can’t wear it either, something about that just feels wrong. So he keeps it in his pocket and decides on the second day: If Poe’s chain keep breaking, he’ll just get him a better one.

“You want me to get what?”

Finn sighs, rubbing at the bridge of his nose. “I need a chain. A necklace. A sturdy one.”

He pushes a pile of credits, almost all that he has, to the requisitions officer staring at him over a tall table. The man still looks skeptical so Finn draws himself up and puts on his best commander voice. So what if he’s just a captain?

“It’s out of the ordinary, but it’s vital to upcoming missions and this should more than cover the cost of it. I don’t think you should have any issue acquiring it. So do it, quickly.” After a beat, he adds, “Please.”

The officer blanches at his tone though and sure enough, in three days time, the necklace appears in his mail slot. Finn grins, threading the chain through his fingers. It’s the same silvery tone as Poe’s ring. When he jerks it between his hands, it doesn’t so much as bend. Perfect. He drops the ring onto the chain, smiling to himself as it jangles pleasantly, and heads out with a spring in his step. Poe should be back today. Not that that has anything to do with it, though a tiny part of him is hoping so see that same soft expression again. But Finn puzzles over when to give the ring back.It’s not typically allowed for non-essential personnel to be on the tarmac when missions are returning. Plus, Finn knows as soon as Poe’s feet hit the ground, he’ll be dragged ten different ways to discuss where he went, what he did, who he saw. And though he desperately wants to know himself, Finn’s not part of that action. _Yet,_ he firmly reminds himself. So he bides his time, hoping to catch Poe at dinner. But when he doesn’t show there either, Finn has a feeling of where he might be. 

The halls of _Tantive IV_ are quiet and empty. It’s late enough that anyone not on duty would likely be asleep already. Finn just hopes Poe isn’t one of them. The door chimes. He rocks back on his heels. Oh stars, what if this was a bad idea? What if Poe’s already asleep? The pilot’s probably exhausted, maybe he could just—

The door slides with a hiss; he jumps.

“Finn?”

And there’s Poe, looking sleepless and morose. Like he hadn’t had time to put his game face on.

“H-hi.” Finn clears his throat. “I’m sorry, did I wake you?”

Poe rubs at his eye with one hand, the long, worn sleeve of his nightshirt slipping down his wrist. “Nah. No such luck there.”

Finn frowns, completely forgetting the reason he’s there and taking just a half-step forward. He wouldn’t but, “You look like you’re gonna collapse, you ok?”

Poe offers him a small, tired grin. “Sorry. Bad mission. Five days runnin’ and gunnin’, buddy. It takes it outta ya.” He yawns. “Plus, I was a little off anyway.”

Oh! Finn grins, scrambles in his pocket, hoping his feeling is right. “Because you lost this?”

The ring swings between them on its new chain. For three solid seconds, Poe doesn’t say anything at all. Finn’s grin wilts some. But the pilot’s jaw drops and his mouth works like he can’t decide what word he would even choose.

“Finn—is that—how did—”

“In the armory, last week.” Poe glances between him and the ring. “By the time I found it, you were gone again.”

Poe blinks rapidly. “That’s not my chain.”

A worried line works its way into Finn’s forehead. He thought Poe would be happier. Oh, maybe he is getting the wrong idea this time…

“No…I just found the ring and figured you could use a sturdier one. So I got one for you.”

He lofts it a little higher between them, silently hoping Poe will take it. What he doesn’t expect is for Poe to close the distance with a soft sound and throw his arms around Finn’s shoulders.

“Whoa, whoa!” Finn stumbles under Poe’s weight, wrapping an arm each under Poe’s arm and around his waist. “Poe! You ok? What’s wrong??”

“I can’t believe you found it. Again.” Poe’s voice sounds tight in his ear, his grip tense and fingers digging into Finn’s shirt. "I was thinking about it the whole time I was gone. Wondering where it went. I couldn't even focus." Poe's nails bite through his shirt into his shoulders, and his whole body feels like glass in Finn's hands as he rambles on. "So much went wrong on that damn operation. It's like all we did was lose time and fuel and people even though we found the depot and I just kept thinking, 'If I hadn't lost it, it would be fine. If I still had it, everything'd work out ok.'"

Finn not sure what to do. The only other person he's hugged this long was Rey. Should he let Poe go? No, the pilot's grip is still taut and shaky; it wouldn't feel right. Maybe it's because he's exhausted. Maybe he's on that post-mission adrenaline crash. Maybe he really was upset about the ring. Whatever it is, it makes Poe cling. So Finn squeezes him tight, absently petting his side. He's not sure what to say either—he doesn't really understand Poe's attachment to such a little thing—but he tries.

"You have it now. The chain won't break, I promise. I tested it myself. It'll stay with you, ok?"

Poe relaxes some. Finn desperately wants to ask why. _Why_ is such a thing so important? But Poe sniffs a bit and finally pulls away, clears his throat and takes a deep breath like he's trying to get a handle back on himself. And just like that, a mask slips into place—Finn would recognize a mask like that anywhere. There's a smile on Poe's face but his eyes are still dark and vacant. Still lost in whatever he was feeling. Despite that, he takes the ring and slips the chain over his head, sighing when it bounces on his chest.

"I really owe you," Poe murmurs, staring at and fiddling with the new chain. "I can't even imagine what this thing cost."

Finn cocks his head, debating on whether or not to ask for a trade. Info for the chain. But that doesn't feel right either. In the end, he decides, no. "You don't owe me anything." Poe's eyes shoot up, surprise evident in the curve of his brow. "It's a gift."

There's a long moment, that lost look. Something else he doesn't really understand. Finn hates it. He wants to understand, just wants Poe to look happy again but he's not sure how to do that either.

"Are you ok?" he tries. "Do you want me to stay with you?" Maybe that's it.

Poe's hand finally drops from the ring, opting to squeeze Finn's arm in a familiar gesture as he sighs. "No, no I'll be alright." He glances down the hall and shifts on his feet, like he's suddenly aware of all that just transpired. Embarrassed. "You should get some rest."

Finn frowns. "If you're sure..." He stumbles a bit, presses on. Maybe honesty is better. "We could just talk for a while. Or not talk. I—I just wanna help."

Poe's voice is soft when he says, "I know." It's open for him to take, and it seems for a moment he might, but at length he continues, "But I'll be alright... Just tired."

Finn tries not to feel too disappointed.

"You wanna come on missions with me?" Poe smiles, a ghost of what it usually is, but it's just for him. "I think you might be good luck."

Finn's not sure how much of it is Poe's usual teasing and how much of it is sincere. But it feels like Poe can see his feelings. And maybe he can? Finn swallows around another question and smiles back.

"You can take me any time."


	3. Chapter 3

"Are they still behind us?"

Shots zing over Finn's shoulder, crackling through the canyon undergrowth. "What do you think?" he shouts, twisting to fire back.

"Shit."

He barely hears Poe swear over the air and the hum of the speeder bike despite being tucked up against his back. First Order's right behind them. At least three on their tail. He turns to fire again but misses. The angle's too weird. His scarf keeps flapping in his face. There's not a good way to get at them. Think, think! The wound on his thigh throbs but Finn slides back an inch, rolls and twists, gets himself seated backward on the bike.

"What the hell are you doing?!"

Finn levels his blaster. Steadies. Fires. One pursuing bike veers off course, right into a tree. That's the only answer he's giving right now, desperate to hold on with his thighs and take aim at another trooper already blasting back. 

"Uh oh." Poe lurches, weaves through the trees, reaches one hand back to keep him steady.

The blaster heats in Finn's grip, returning fire. He almost loses it with a hard jolt. "Poe! For fuck's sake—"

He lands a glancing shot. Tries again. The nearest speeder bursts into flame; their bike sinks in a free fall for half a second and shudders as the repulsors kick in.

"Hang on!"

Oh no.

"What?"

Finn holds down his scarf, glances over his shoulder but before he can even process, Poe jerks the speeder into a hard lean. Too hard. Finn grapples at the bike seat, clinging to the edges as Poe pushes the thing as hard as it'll go. Repulsors screech against the canyon wall, bounce back hard. The bike spins a full circle, Poe grunts, the controls jerk in his hands. Something shiny whips by Finn's eye—he snatches at it on instinct. He doesn't even know what it is he's caught because they're still spinning. Poe pulls them upright again. Out of the corner of his eye, Finn sees the last pursuing speeder crash into the canyon wall. Hears a horrible crunch and boom. Still, he gets his wits back, his hand on his blaster. Only to realize there's no First Order left to pursue them and Poe's ring is dangling from his fist.

"How's it look back there?" Poe shouts.

Finn hesitates, watching the receding canyon a little longer before he declares, "All clear!"

He holsters his blaster and holds his breath against the pain as he pulls a reverse maneuver, situating himself again against Poe's back. Trying very hard not to focus on the heat of him now that they're out of immediate danger. He feels his strength waning with his adrenaline though and can’t help resting his forehead on Poe’s back. The pilot leans into him the smallest amount and guns the speeder bike for all it's worth.

The transport's in sight. Poe pulls up just short of the door and barrels off the side of the bike, dashing to Finn's side.

"Gimme your arm."

"Poe, I got it."

" **Gimme your arm**."

Finn huffs. "Just let me get off."

Apparently, Poe's not taking no for an answer. He slides himself right up Finn's side under his arm. One firm hand fits around his waist, the other holds tight to his wrist, and all at once Poe pulls him from the swoop.

" _Augh,_ damn it!" Finn hisses through his teeth. "Fuck, Poe, that hurts!"

"It's gonna hurt more if we don't get outta here!"

Finn glances back at the horizon, catches sight of what stokes Poe's panic. Two armored First Order transports speed toward them. Finn's eyes go wide. He sticks himself to Poe's side.

"Yeah, ok, you got a point."

Poe snorts at him but takes most of his weight. Which is great, because as soon as he puts any on his foot, pain spikes down from the gash in his thigh. Well, that's not good. Together, they hobble onto the ship.

"Can you stand?"

Finn braces himself on the hull, nodding through a grimace. "Get us out of here."

Poe spares him one worried glance before he darts to the cockpit. In seconds, they’re in atmo. Their stolen fuel rattles in the hold. Finn staggers past. He barely gets into a bench seat before he feels the jerk and pull of the ship flashing into lightspeed. At long last, he lets out a breath. Unwinds the scarf from his neck and lets his head fall back against the hull. Stars, what a mess. Maybe he can just sleep here. He could have when he was still with the Order. And he’s tired enough to do it now. Maybe he can work through that old training. Shut down, control, manipulate sensation. At least enough to ignore the pain in his leg. His eyes slip closed—maybe just for a while—until he hears footsteps approaching.

"You ok?"

When he cracks an eye, he finds Poe crouched, struggling with an emergency bacta patch. "Yeah," he sighs. Trying, and failing, to keep the exhaustion out of his voice. "Just took a lot out of me."

Poe's silence rings around him. Is he upset? They've been on ops together but maybe this time, maybe he finally did something wrong. Everything _had_ gone totally sideways. Oh. Huh. Guess he's always been waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak. Is this it? Gods, has Poe just needed an excuse to get rid of him? Like Captain Cardinal? Like Phasma? It's completely nonsensical—Poe is his _friend_ —but the thoughts come sneaking in anyway.

"That was a serious fall," Poe says, voice low. His fingers ghost over the gash in Finn's leg but don’t—won’t—touch. "I thought you were dead.”

Yeah, maybe climbing up the data bank to draw fire wasn’t his best move. But it gave Poe the time he needed. If there’s still a little voice in his head telling him to finish the mission at any cost, that he’s still expendable, well that’s his own problem. Finn pushes himself up against the wall with a grimace—whether to see Poe better or put space between himself and the idea, he's not sure.

"Nah, no such luck. Can't get rid of me that easy."

"Luck?" Poe's voice takes a sharp tone, a furrow in his brow that Finn's come to recognize as anger. Well, damn. "Fuck you, luck. Be more careful next time. I'm not _trying_ to get rid of you."

Poe finally manages to break into the bacta patch and the way he pulls Finn's ruined trousers out of the wound steals the breath right out of his teeth. Poe makes a soft soothing sound in the back of his throat as he eases the patch over most of the gash. But even as gentle as his hands are it still stings like hell.

"Right. Sorry," Finn manages, clenches his hands. Something digs into his palm. Oh. Poe's ring. He offers it up as a kind of peace offering. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Poe's fumbles at his throat, looking for the chain, before his eyes light on the ring with a kind of wonder. “How—”

"I don't even know. Guess I just have a knack for finding it."

“You must be good luck,” Poe says, barely audible, before he tenderly takes the chain from his hands, slips it easy over his head, tucks it back into the collar of his shirt. Finn can’t help tracking the length of it down the column of his neck. Absently wonders how the metal would feel warmed by Poe’s skin. Won't ever get to find out if he keeps losing it. So Finn does the only thing he can think of in that moment: sighs, more to himself than anything else, and takes the scarf from his bench.

“You gotta be more careful yourself,” he murmurs, wrapping the old navy scarf around Poe’s neck. “Still don’t know why you hold on to that damn thing like you do, but maybe that’ll keep it where it's supposed to be.”

Poe plucks at the fabric, purses his lips, like he's looking for the best way to counter that. Always thinking on his feet. Adapting in a way Finn so admires. He wonders if Poe sees something like that in him. After a beat, Poe gets that look in his eyes and comes back around with that trademark tenacity. He just doesn't circle back to what Finn expects.

“I’m not—Finn, I’m not mad at you." He pushes up to catch Finn's downcast eyes. "Well, kinda. I care about you. I don’t want anything bad to happen to you.”

“That's kind of the nature of the game, isn't it? Something bad can always happen. It was the best option at the time." It wasn't, but he says it anyway. "For the mission, right?”

“Yeah, but you have to know the line!” Poe leans in, fully between his knees now. Finn sways back. “Just because something bad can happen doesn’t mean you should invite it. You’re not careful enough, you don’t come back. Finn, there’s only so far you can go before that line cuts you down and you end up dead.”

“I—” Finn swallows hard. “I know that.”

“Do you though?” Poe frowns but his eyes say something else Finn doesn’t have a name for. Like he's begging him to understand something unknown, if he had to guess. Then softer, he says, “I don’t think you know what losing you would do."

Finn shakes his head where it rests against the hull. "The Resistance was here before me and it'll be here after."

"I'm not talking about for the Resistance!" Poe squeezes his eyes shut for an instant. When he opens them again, Finn burns. "I'm talking about for me."

Despite all the exhaustion and all the dark shit in his head, Finn's heart leaps. But surely, "There's always someone in the wings, there's always someone else."

"No. Not for me," Poe murmurs, laying a hand on Finn's uninjured thigh. "Not if it's you."

There's so much and nothing at all that Finn could say to that. He's not used to being important. Wherever he was, there were always a hundred other troopers to pick up the fight if ever he fell. But Poe's looking at him like—hell, he's looking at him like he's something special. Stars, it bounces around his head, threatening to tear him apart. He's never wanted more, never been so afraid to ask. And Poe seems to sense that. His hand sneaks a little farther forward, just enough to catch Finn's fingers where they lay in his lap.

"Look, I know what it's like, to be ready to die for a cause. We go out there every day ready to die for the Resistance. I know that, you know that. It's probably unhealthy as hell—" His scoff makes Finn laugh, even if it gets caught in his throat. “—but we do it anyway. But this? This isn't the time for it, buddy. No amount of coaxium can replace what you mean to us." He squeezes Finn's fingers. "To me."

Finn opens his mouth—surely he should say something—but he jumps. A proximity alarm blares in the background. Poe's head drops a fraction and sighs deep. He holds Finn's eyes for a second more before rising on cracking knees. As he turns to go, Finn looking up at him, he seems to waver. And before the trooper can even draw a breath, Poe tenderly traces the line of his jaw.

"You're important, Finn. Especially to me."

Finn shivers, desperate to keep Poe there even if his limbs won't quite cooperate. But the alarm blares again, that mask settles on Poe's face. And he's gone. Back to the cockpit to lead them to safety again.

Finn closes his eyes against the feelings churning in his heart.

Later. He'll sort it out later.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my sincerest thanks to TheCarrot for the feedback and pointers on this chapter, i couldn't have done it without you!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> notes for extreme pining, some more poe whump, and so much schmoop lol

He doesn’t sort it out later.

If anything, the feelings just get worse.

Well, maybe not worse. Something changes in the months after that mission. Everything feels different. Not wholly different, but like there's another layer. It's been a while since he's had to do it—life with the Resistance isn't so different that he can't make connections—but sometimes thinking about Poe makes his thoughts so scattered he has to make a list. Of things he knows about Poe, things they share or do. Even one he would never admit to, one of all the things he would ask Poe if he ever had the courage. Why does it feel different? There's just so _much_ Finn feels it's like he can't keep track of it all.

What makes Poe different from everyone else?

The realization comes to him, laughably slow, as the Resistance hurtles to something more and more dangerous.

He’s in love.

Finn may have been a stormtrooper but he's pretty sure he knows what love is. As much as any person really can. More often than not, Poe is his first thought in the morning and his last thought at night. And it shows in his actions.

Poe seeks him out more often than not. And if he doesn’t, Finn finds him. They eat together. Work together. Spend free time together. Finn gets intimately familiar with how warm Poe is when he sits beside him. How his eyes crinkle when he laughs, and how those same eyes can be brutal on assignment. Finn's there to say goodbye when Poe leaves and welcome him home when he returns. Poe's there to gently reassure him when his thoughts get dark again. It's a wonderful sort of familiarity Finn revels in. He has other friends on base, sure. In fact, being friends with Poe has netted him more familiar faces than ever before. Sometimes it's fun, to be so known. Other times, it's almost overwhelming in the face of years of relative anonymity.

But no one feels quite the same way Poe does.

“He just…makes me happy,” he laments to Rey. “For no reason.” He backtracks at her cocked eyebrow. “You do too, sometimes. But it’s like he could smile and I just feel full. I don’t even know what to call that, I just know that it _is_ , you know?”

“I don’t know if I do,” she says through a mouthful of noodles. “Maybe Rose does.”

Right. Rey doesn’t exactly have any more experience with people than he does. Two halves of the same idiot, as she liked to say, just trying to figure out how people work.

And actions, aside, it’s Poe’s words that Finn thinks of most.

_Not for me. Not if it's you_.

It plays on loop in his mind, at times when he least expects it. Never mind that moments from their solo mission live rent-free in his head. It replays in his dreams—he never did sort it out. There wasn't opportunity to ask Poe for more, for what he meant exactly, at least not one he felt comfortable taking. Always too many people, too much to do.

_You're important. Especially to me._

The questions remain though. Stars, did he mean that? _How_ did he mean that? Finn knows how he feels. What about Poe?

"What do you think, Rose? Am I just overthinking it? Making shit up?"

He glances at her and she's looking at him like he's grown a second head. "Oh, you've got it bad."

"Yeah, no, I got that." Finn doesn't dare back down, better to just accept it outright. "But what about him?"

Rose stares at him, then out at the tarmac where Poe's suiting up to leave. Then shakes her head when Poe catches sight of them and smiles wide.

"I think it's safe to say you're on the same page," she teases as Poe jogs over. "Don't overthink it so much, Big Deal. Go with your gut."

She grins and slips away, but not before shoving him a little in Poe's direction.

Finn hopes, but doesn't dare hope too hard.

He stands on the tarmac, heart in his throat as it always is. “You be careful out there. You never know what you’re gonna find.”

“Hey!” Poe smiles at him like it’s the easiest thing in the world. “It’s me!”

Finn grins helplessly. “That’s what I’m afraid of.”

Poe’s smile falls just a hair but he reaches out and squeezes Finn’s shoulder in a familiar gesture. “No, it’s not.”

“It’s not,” Finn echoes. But it’s what he can say for now. He fits his hand over Poe’s, simmering in familiar warmth. “I wish I could go with you.”

“It’s just recon, buddy. What would go wrong?”

Finn grimaces. “Don’t ask that. Don’t invite trouble, flyboy.”

“Hey…” Poe takes a step closer; Finn leans to him, drawn as a magnet might. “I’ll be back before you know it.”

For an instant, Finn wonders if he should tell him.

* * *

“Poe! Poe, are you in there?”

Finn knocks again, itching all over.

“Poe? I’m coming in!”

He’d heard the news shortly after Poe landed. Had even been privy to the briefing. Poe received the worst dressing-down he’d had since Crait. Finn’s blood boiled for him. Catching a First Order Gather in progress? Yeah, he would’ve engaged and blown it all to hell, too. There is no more tenacious team than Black Squadron, of _course_ they made it right and made it out. And logically, he understands the point High Command was trying to make. But it was a stupid point and he’s decided to ignore it. Poe saved dozens of kids at the cost of intelligence. To Finn, that’s worth it.

But the way Poe looked after the meeting…

Well, that’s what brought his feet to Poe’s door. So he punches in the access code—the one Poe gave him—and steps inside.

The air in Poe’s quarters is thick. Humid. The ‘fresher’s still running. Clothes are strewn all over the floor, as are some star charts. Books. Furniture. Like Poe split apart as soon as he got inside. Maybe he did. Finn picks his way across the mess to the refresher door.

“Poe?”

No answer.

“Are you dead in there?”

The ‘fresher opens with a hiss and a waft of steam makes Finn’s clothes stick to his skin. He creeps inside, fearful of moving too quick. Not sure why, maybe so as not to startle Poe. But as he comes to the shower stall, he realizes he shouldn’t have worried.

Poe sits beneath the spray. Knees drawn to his chest, head back against the wall. Eyes closed. But when Finn moves to crouch, he opens them with a heavy sigh.

“Hey buddy.”

Finn swallows hard. He sounds so tired. “Hey.” He already knows the answer but he asks anyway, “You ok?”

Poe croaks, “Not really.”

“…how long you been in here?”

“Long enough, probably.”

He wobbles to his feet and Finn reaches out a steadying hand. Pointedly ignoring miles of tan, naked, _wet_ skin. Now is _not_ the time for that. Poe manages the ‘fresher off and Finn fishes out a fluffy towel to wrap him in. It’s so strange, Poe’s like putty in his hands. Up and moving yes, yes, but a shadow of his usual self. Like a shell-shocked ‘trooper still looking for their feet. So Finn does the only thing he knows to do.

He walks Poe through the motions. Pats him dry, helps him step into clean underwear and a pair of loose, soft pants. Clears enough mess off the floor to lead him to bed and tuck him in. When Poe’s finally settled back into the pillows with a sigh, Finn eases himself to the squeaking mattress. The pilot’s hair, still damp, falls over his forehead and shadow his face. Without a thought, Finn reaches. Halfway through the motion, he wonders. But his fingers speak before he can, tenderly brushing the curls from Poe’s eyes.

“You wanna talk about it?” he softly asks. “This wasn’t exactly a routine run and gun.”

Poe closes his eyes against it, a fine line breaking his brow. “It wasn’t.”

Finn has a feeling… He hesitates before pressing forward. “You’ve never seen a Gather op, have you?”

“No.”

Bile rises thick in Finn’s throat. “You had no idea what you were going into, did you?”

Poe shakes his head, swallows hard. “No.”

“You did the best you could, sweetheart.” The endearment slips out but he can’t bring himself to regret it. “You couldn’t have known.”

Poe’s hands clench hard in his scratchy standard-issue blanket. “We didn’t get ‘em all.”

He hauls himself upright, drags a hand down his face. Finn frowns. “What?”

“We…didn’t save all the kids.” Oh… “We got there in the middle—” Poe shakes his head, a line so tight in his jaw. “—made a snap decision as soon as we figured out what was going on. But—” He chokes off, head dropping. “Some of the ships already made the jump. We didn’t know what they had. Didn’t disable them.” His voice rises in volume, he throws off the blanket, jumps past Finn right out of bed. “Now the First Order’s out there with a fresh batch! More innocent kids that _we_ ** _didn’t save!_** ”

His voice breaks on the last word. Frustration shudders across his shoulders. Finn’s on his feet, following after. There it is. The next wave. Fatigue, then anger. There’s a few ways Poe could go next; there’s only one way he needs. Finn treads carefully.

“Poe…” Gently, he grabs for Poe’s shoulder. “Look at me.”

The pilot jerks out of his hand. Balls his fists and crosses his arms, like he’s not sure what they’ll do if he doesn’t keep them under control. Finn looks him over with a critical eye. What to do, what to do…

Something glimmers at him from under Poe’s carelessly discarded flight suit.

The ring.

Maybe…

He steps away to scoop it up, circles around in front of Poe who won’t meet his eyes. So he dips his head, searching.

“Poe.” Nothing. Finn’s teeth clench but he firms his voice to say, “Look at me, Commander,” and Poe’s eyes dart up. He holds the ring up for Poe to see. “Tell me what this means to you.”

“It…” Poe frowns, out of step. Good. “It means loyalty. Determination.” The longer he stares, the softer his voice goes. “Doin’ the right thing.” Arms loosen, drop to his sides. “Means love. And remembrance…” He trails off, shakes his head at that, looking between Finn and the ring. “What’s that got to do with anything?”

“I think you missed a couple things,” he says, gingerly fishes Poe’s hand from his side and wraps the chain around it. He doesn’t let go, but tugs Poe back to the bed. “Determination, loyalty, I definitely see that,” he says as the mattress squeaks. “But I see it meaning bravery. And a promise.”

“A promise?”

“Sure,” he breathes, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It keeps you comin’ back.”

_To me._

He doesn’t say it, even as it claws at his tongue.

Poe takes a deep breath.

“Let me tell you what you did today,” Finn murmurs, leaning close because he can’t help himself. “You saved dozens of kids. You saved ‘em from a void of a life. From masters that would try to train the goodness right out of ‘em. Thanks to you, those kids will know what love looks like.”

Poe frowns. “But—”

“But when we win, we’ll find the rest. And we’ll save them, too. You already made it easier. You got ‘em where it hurt, you saved those kids and families. Poe…” He presses the ring into Poe’s hand. “Don’t tell me you did nothing today. I'll prove you wrong, every time. And if you ever need a reminder of the good you do—” He swallows hard. “—or what you mean to me, you look at that ring.”

Finally, Poe’s shoulders sag and the fight’s out of him. Finn lets out a breath in tandem. Acceptance, it seems, is a heavy burden.

“How can you be so sure?” Poe nearly whispers. His curls are in his face again; Finn itches to move them. “How do you know we’ll find the rest? Save ‘em? Or even win this thing?”

“I wasn’t sure before, but I am now. I believe in the Resistance and what we do.” Finn tilts his head and squeezes Poe’s wrists. “I believe in you.”

There’s a quiet moment. Maybe he went too far this time. Where’s the line? Kriff, he has no idea anymore.

“Time for bed, Poe.”

He clasps the pilot’s wrists one last time, leaves the ring twisted in his palm. But as he gets to his feet, Poe grasps after him. Before he can take more than a step, Poe throws arms around his waist. Digs fingers into his back and buries his face in Finn’s stomach. Finn freezes. He doesn’t know what to do, what to say. He’s said all he possibly could. _Liar. You could say more_. Confused, hopeful, aching, he pets Poe’s hair out of his face like he so desperately wanted. Grips the back of his neck tight. A beat; he’s ready to say _something_ , opens his mouth even, to comfort. Then, muffled from under fabric and flesh, he hears,

“Stay.”

Poe looks up at him then, bleary-eyed and so, so open. Finn’s knees feel weak. His heart jolts. He could refuse all the temptation, all the conditioning in the galaxy. But he can’t refuse that.

So he stays.

He pauses just long enough to throw off his boots and belt as Poe slides over on his narrow cot. Gingerly, he eases onto his back. Poe follows him down without a word. There’s so many questions ringing in his head now, so many things he could think to say now that Poe’s dark eyes aren’t freezing him through.

_Are you going to be all right?_

_How long can I stay?_

_What will change?_

_Do you love me too?_

But Poe’s weight thrown over him suffocates the questions. And, in that moment, he’s happy to let them die. Happy enough to hold his pilot a little tighter, a little closer. Listens to the sound of Poe’s short ragged breaths ease to something deep and soft. Much like the beating of his own heart.

It’s so long before he sleeps.

The last thing he sees before closing his eyes is Poe’s hand on his chest. Still wrapped in his chain, the ring digging into his skin.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter's a bit shorter, and 6 will probably be the shortest  
> but at last!!

Waking in the morning is like waking from a dream. One that lasts and lingers and makes all his limbs feel heavy. It takes a few seconds to get his senses working. Then he realizes it's not the dream making his limbs feel like syrup.

It's Poe.

Or rather, his residual warmth. Finn turns on the narrow mattress, reaching across to where Poe last lay. The sheets are still warm.

But empty.

Poe’s gone.

Finn frowns. Stretches. It’s early. Before his shift is due to start. He eyes the chrono on the desk. Several hours before, by the look of it. Poe should still be here. Then he sits up, heart sinking. He thought…

Well, he really thought Poe would still be there. That maybe he’d finally get a chance to ask the question that burned him through the night. With a deep sigh, he swings his feet off the bed, untucking his shirt and unbuttoning the first few buttons. In the movement, a soft jingling catches his ear. A familiar ring sits tangled just out of sight, partially shoved under the pillow. Poe must’ve lost it in the night. Let it slip from his grip. Finn plucks it from the sheets, turns it in his fingers. The brushed, beaten steel should look shabby against the fine metal necklace, but somehow it just looks more beautiful. Enduring. Willing to bend but never break. Like Poe.

Whose was it before, that Poe can’t let go of? Did it belong to someone he loved? Loves? Someone waiting for him? Maybe… A nervousness churns in Finn’s stomach. One that he hates more than he can say, though it doesn’t make it any less true. Nothing was guaranteed, was it? Is it possible he misread everything? It wouldn't be the first time, though it would be the worst. _Not for me._ Maybe those words weren’t meant for him. _Not if it’s you._ Or, at least, maybe not the way he thought. Or is it the other way around? Finn pushes out a deep breath, drags a hand down his face. Kriff, what a mess. _He's_ a mess. In that moment, a tiny part of him wishes he was still First Order, just so he wouldn't be allowed to _feel_ so much. Then he winces. Hates it. Poe would hate it too, probably. Stars, being a real person is hard. But despite the insecurity, it’s not something he can ever really regret. Even if the words weren’t meant for him, he’ll be all right. In the end.

He stares at the ring again though, and wonders.

Just as he's decided to leave, trying to convince his feet to move, the door hisses open. Finn's heart leaps and he almost collapses in on himself. Poe comes back through the door, a mess tray heaped with bread and fruit and meat in hand.

"Hey, good morning." Poe's smile is soft, voice sleep-rough and low.

“Hey.” It just sounds so wrong. He clears his throat, tries again. “Uh. Hey.”

Not any better, stars and galaxies.

“We never did ever have breakfast.” Poe gestures with the tray. “Thought maybe you were hungry.”

Finn just nods. Yeah, sure, he’s hungry. So he scoots out of the way, leaving enough room for Poe on the bed. He stares at the tray though, subtly—or not so subtly—avoiding Poe’s eyes while his mind still struggles to right itself. _C’mon, time to be human_. But Poe’s smile turns to a frown as he drops onto the mattress. Their knees touch; Finn’s acutely aware of it. The pilot eyes the ring still in Finn's fingers and he almost drops it when Poe asks,

"What's wrong?"

Does he dare disclose all the mess that just went through his head? Maybe just part of it. "I, um wasn't sure you were coming back."

Poe's frown deepens as he sets the tray in the mess of blankets. "Of course I'd come back. Why wouldn't I?"

Finn's tongue feels stuck to his teeth, jaw locked and tight. He stares at the ring before holding it out for Poe to take. "I guess I thought that might've belonged to somebody special."

He can't quite hold Poe's eye—whether from embarrassment or fear, he's not sure. But he catches a glimpse of something like realization dawning on the pilot's face as he looks at the ring himself.

"It used to belong to Shara Bey.”

Finn's heart stops. The name sounds familiar. Why does it sound familiar?

“My mother."

Oh gods, a trapped breath finally breaks out of his lungs; relief. And a memory sparks. Shara Bey. Rebel scum, a footnote in First Order history lessons. A cautionary tale, a picture of the Rebellion’s tenacity. Something to be destroyed at all costs. A war hero, now that he knows better. Poe—observant, wonderful Poe—plucks a piece of his favorite fruit from the tray. Hands it to him for a distraction, brushing his palm with the fingers that aren't sticky. Is that a tender touch? An accident? With the way his hand lingers, Finn’s dying to ask. He clamps his mouth shut though, shivers as Poe continues.

"It was an old washer.” Poe takes a roll for himself, chews a piece. "Pulled it off her favorite ship when it finally bit the dust." He turns the ring and chain in hand, smiling fondly. Sadly. "Married my dad in the middle of a kriffin' war, had me. Still managed to make it out alive, even after following Luke Skywalker around the galaxy and puttin' down Imperials wherever she went.”

For a moment, there’s just quiet. He’d had no idea about Poe’s mother. Father, yes. But Shara Bey? No. Though now that he says it, Finn’s not at all surprised. In fact, it should’ve been obvious: Poe’s the product of heroes. Of legends. And of war, just like him.

"She sounds amazing," Finn says softly.

“She was.” Poe digs around on the tray. Hands him another sweet piece before he goes on. “I miss her every day. This is about all I have left of her anymore.”

Finn's almost afraid to ask. Has a feeling about the answer but asks anyway, "Where is she now?"

"She's gone. Died, when I was just a kid. Been a long time gone but..." Poe's voice catches still. "She left it for me."

Suddenly, so much about Poe and his ring makes sense. His attachment, taking comfort in its familiar weight. His faith, remembering all the best of his mother as it hangs over his heart. What was it he said? Loyalty. Determination. Love...

“You really loved her, didn't you?” Of course he did. “That's why it's so important to you.”

"I do," Poe nods. He pauses. Considering. "But I'd say it's important for other reasons. Keeps me grounded, if you know what I mean.” Pointedly, he meets Finn’s eye. The mood almost visibly shifts, thrown out of balance by the way Poe’s eyes look in the dim light. “Reminds me the promises I made.” He puts a warm, firm hand on Finn’s knee. “Of people I love.”

Stars, Finn can hardly speak. Can’t formulate anything more than, ”Yeah?”

All the air between them feels empty. Like he’s been thrown out the airlock, spinning weightless in space. Slowly losing himself piece by piece, torn apart in Poe’s gravitational pull.

"She told me once I should give it to someone special." Poe leans forward. Shadows hide in the curve of his cheek, just under his lip. Bluer than a bruise. "Someone I wanted to spend the rest of my life with."

_Ask,_ his heart screams. _Ask._

"Do you think—” He registers Poe’s hand under his chin, pulling him close. “—that could ever be me?"

Poe nods. Their noses brush. "Yeah...I think so."

Finn tracks the space until he can’t anymore. Too close. Then his eyes fall closed, Poe’s lips touch his, and it feels like free fall. His stomach drops, the pilot’s hand creeps up his cheek to the back of his neck. Hands. Doesn’t know what to do with his own hands. Lost in the push and pull, desperate for breath. When at last he finds one, Poe steals it. Pushing into his mouth, welcome, tongues brushing, a desperate edge. Finn grabs his elbows. The pilot slides forward, almost between his knees, hands moving in, down his chest, then—

Poe's comm blares to life. So loud it’s terrifying. They jerk apart. Breathless. Poe drops his hands. Wide-eyed. Then Leia comes over the speaker.

"You better get your ass out of bed, Commander. You have a mission briefing."

"What?!" Poe sputters, and it's all Finn can do not to laugh hysterically. "Now? Like _now_ now?"

"On the double, Dameron. We just received news from our contact at Sinta Glacier Colony. You need to get there, fast. Get your crew, and bring Finn with you.”

Finn blanches as Poe drops his head back and swallows. “Understood.”

The silence rings between them.

Finn stares.

Poe stares back.

“Well…” Poe clears his throat. “Think she knew we were up to something, huh.”

A grin breaks on Poe’s face.

Finn has to grin back. “A disturbance in the Force or whatever.”

Then Poe’s laughing, shaking his head, and something tight works itself loose in Finn’s chest.

“Or she just saw me at the mess,” Poe chuckles, squeezing Finn's knee. “Two plus two, buddy. She ain’t dumb.”

“Not even close.”

Poe sucks his lip between his teeth then, gaze somewhere between heated and hesitant. "Can we finish this conversation later?"

Finn smiles, light and easy, and takes the ring from Poe’s hands. ”There’s no way you're getting out of it now." He drapes the necklace over the pilot’s head, hand trailing the column of his neck. Taps the ring where it lays on Poe’s chest. "This is my guarantee, right?"

"Absolutely," Poe grins. "Guaranteed. Like you said, it keeps me coming back." The fingers that found their way to Finn's knee sneak up to his cheek again. "To you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man you don't even know how long i fought with this chapter  
> thanks again chuck and gmary for the feedback  
> hope that turned out all right


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well here we are at the end!  
> to those of you looking for some smut, i apologize, it just didn't work here. so i hope you forgive me for that!

Poe makes landfall and immediately starts looking.

Logically, he knows that Lando got him. Snapped him out of the jaws of death as Exegol's fleet crumbled and fell.

But his heart won't rest until he lays hands on Finn safe and sound.

He scans the jubilant crowd, almost nervous. The _Falcon_ definitely landed; he was just behind. So where's Finn? He wanders off from the main gathering, wincing as his arm jostles in its sling. Maybe Finn went to his ship looking for him? He's about to head that way when something prickles at the back of his neck. On instinct, he turns—

And there's Finn, striding toward him with open arms and a ready smile.

All the breath leaves Poe's body in a great _whoosh—_ Finn hits him so hard he actually stumbles. But Poe buries his face in the soldier's shoulder, taking a ragged breath full of sweat and blaster fire. His fingers cling to Finn's neck, betray a dolorous tremor before he finally has the gumption to pull back. Stars, he can't even speak. An unnamable emotion swells in his heart, chokes his throat. His arm throbs but it doesn't even matter. Finn's here and whole and smiling so bright Poe could just melt.

Finn squeezes his shoulder tight. "We did it."

He lets himself brush Finn's cheek, repeating, "We did..."

—

After the whirlwind, Poe's more exhausted than he's ever been. The high of victory is tempered as the weight of loss settles on him. So many lost. Leia. Gods, Leia. He can't even think on it. Snap...hurts especially. He'd shed his tears with Karé, as many as he'd had left, and Finn stood solidly by in his own quiet grief. But after a while, Poe wandered. Left to check on others as Finn did the same. Bonfires sprang up. Time-honored tradition, isn’t it? Music floats tangible as smoke, underlaid by choruses that become progressively drunken as the night goes on. Poe could join them. Nah. He's too pensive to jump into the raucous fray. Instead weighing again and again all the actions that led them to this moment. What could he have done better? Where could lives have been saved? He sinks down at the foot of his ship, leaning back on the landing gear and breathing in the scent of life. Of Ajan Kloss's heady greens. It makes him think of Yavin IV. Brings him some amount of peace, to know that places like this are safe again. Maybe he'll go home when this is all over. For a while.

"They could hear you thinkin' in the next star system," a familiar voice calls behind in the dark.

Poe smiles, leaning but not turning in that direction. "Maybe."

Finn slides down beside him, stretching his legs out so their boots knock together. "You ok?"

"Yeah..."

Poe does turn to him then. He'd say more but kriff, Finn looks too beautiful in the moonlight. The general reaches for him. Wavers. Lands his hand gingerly on Poe's thigh almost as if he's not sure he's welcome there. So Poe laces their fingers together for comfort. To reassure. And as soon as he does, Finn seems to relax. Together, they stare up at the sky. Up at the stars. Just existing. Maybe it's safe to ask now...

"What were you going to tell Rey?" he tries. "Before?"

Finn sighs deep out his nose but it doesn't sound like the same frustrated noise he'd made before. Just...resigned. He feels Finn's thumb trace over his knuckles, like he's trying to memorize every valley and peak.

"You don't think it'll change things if I tell you?"

Poe makes a face even though he's not really looking at Finn. "Probably not."

"That's not very reassuring you know."

Poe just watches the stars but smiles at the tone. "You don't have to, if you really don't want to. But I trust you."

_So trust me_ goes unspoken.

Finn sighs again. Out of the corner of his eye, Poe sees him bite at his lip.

"I feel the Force," Finn murmurs. "I think I have for a long time, I just didn't have a name for it."

Poe chances a glance but Finn's still staring at the stars, thrumming with a quiet nervousness. "Makes sense," he sniffs.

Finn whips to him at that. "What?"

"Well, it kinda figures is all," Poe says, squeezing Finn's hand. "I mean, I couldn't do half the things you do."

"Yes you could—"

"And you kept finding my ring. I'm just surprised you didn't tell me sooner."

"I wasn't sure," Finn quietly admits. "And I didn't want it to change things."

"Why would it?"

"Ren..." Finn trails off.

"Hm." Ouch, that's not a fun memory at all. "Fair point. But it wouldn’t change anything. Doesn’t. Not in a bad way.” Poe turns to look at him fully. "Not if it's you."

The relief that washes over Finn's face is a little heartbreaking.

"You can always talk to me, Finn," Poe murmurs.

"You say that," Finn says ruefully.

"I mean that."

"There's...so much I've wanted to tell you. Ask you.”

“Do you,” he hazards, “want to finish our conversation?”

Finn laughs somewhat helplessly. “Gods, where would I even start? And there’s been so much I don’t hardly remember what we were talking about.” He says it but squeezes Poe’s thigh to say _Teasing, only teasing._

Poe smirks, raises an eyebrow and fishes the ring out from under his shirt. “Pretty sure we were talking about this.”

“Um.” Finn’s eyes catching in the light like the ring as it sways. “Yeah, I guess we were.”

Poe’s heart thumps uncomfortably, suddenly nervous. Stars, he hopes this’ll work. That they’re on the same page. Slowly, he takes the chain from his neck, staring at the ring between his fingers. Hopes this is the right thing to do.

“You remember I said this belonged to my mom, right?” Poe asks as he moves to kneel just in front of Finn. “You remember what she said I should do with it?”

Finn swallows, his throat audibly clicks. Poe tracks the motion. “She said you should give it to someone you love, right?”

“Not quite.” Poe leans forward as Finn frowns. Steadies himself with a knee on his thigh. The general’s hands find his elbows but Poe bypasses the look and eases the necklace over Finn’s head. “She said I should give it to someone I wanna spend the rest of my life with.”

Only when the ring drops fully on his chest does Finn seem to take a breath.

“So what do you say? Wanna give it a try?”

Finn looks up at him, eyes wide, lips parted. Before he can help himself, Poe’s fingers find the line of Finn’s jaw. Tenderly drag the length of his cheek, trace the underside of his lip’s delicate edge. Poe wants desperately to kiss him, push in his lap and kiss him until he can’t breathe. Drag him off to bed for their own private celebration. Something in Finn’s eyes promises that. Or maybe it’s the way his fingers finds Poe’s waist and fix there, pulling him close. They could go now—and maybe they will after, he hopes—but he wants to be sure first. So he waits, teetering on the edge.

“Poe—are you sure?” Finn breathes.

He thumbs Poe’s sides, searching for answers his hands can’t find. Poe smiles, gently and full. Leans into the sphere of Finn’s space and pushes as close as he dares, angling the general’s face up.

“I’m sure,” he murmurs. He dips his head. Their noses brush. “It’ll keep you comin’ back to me.”

Finn grips his back tight. “I’d come back without it.”

Something about that sounds like a promise too good to be true and Poe smiles.

“Then keep it anyway,” he whispers, just before their lips touch. “It suits you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for indulging with me, hope you enjoyed the story

**Author's Note:**

> all my thanks to gmariam for the original idea and to thecarrot for the feedback


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